


Indiana Jones and the Temple of 'What the Hell, Curt'

by Newt_salamander



Category: Spies Are Forever - Talkfine/Tin Can Brothers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boys Being Boys, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, I'm Sorry, Indiana Jones References, M/M, Movie Night, Star Wars References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24005320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Newt_salamander/pseuds/Newt_salamander
Summary: It's movie night and Curt is being a disaster gay
Relationships: Owen Carvour & Agent Curt Mega, Owen Carvour/Agent Curt Mega
Comments: 5
Kudos: 46





	Indiana Jones and the Temple of 'What the Hell, Curt'

It was movie night at the Carvour household, which meant Curt was over. Now, Owen wouldn’t say having Curt over was necessarily  _ bad,  _ it’s just he will ask some…  _ odd _ questions from time to time.

They had just finished  _ Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom _ , when Curt looked up at him from underneath the giant blanket and poked him in the side.

“Owen. Owen. Owen."

"Yes?"

"Would you fuck Indiana Jones?”

“What?”

Curt  _ \--who Owen thought looked like an actual angel in this lighting, god damnit-- _ was asking him if he would fuck a fictional character. Whoo, boy.

“You heard me. Would you have sex with Indiana Jones?”

Owen took a deep breath in.

“Even if I did hear you the first time, that question was weird as all hell. Why do you want to know?”

Whether it was intentional or not, Curt completely ignored Owen’s question.

“I would.” Curt stared dreamily at the paused screen. “I would let him excavate me like one of his artifacts, and-”

“Love, what you just said is the definition of TMI.”

Curt humphed. 

“Whatever. You still haven’t answered me, Carvour.”

He groaned at Curt, before deciding that he’d answer the man’s question. 

“Nah. I’d much rather Han Solo, to be quite honest.” Curt looked like he had been shot with an arrow.

“Take that back right now! That’s blasphemous! I bet you I can make a list, right now about why Han Solo is the inferior Harrison Ford character.”

“You needn’t.”

“On the contrary, my dear Carvour-” Curt mocks, “-now, it seems I need  _ to _ .” 

If he wasn’t so cute, Owen would’ve probably killed him already. 

“One! When Indy has his hat off, his hair alway looks perfect, unlike Han, who  _ never  _ wore a hat. Hats make men look hot, Carvour. That’s a fact. Plus, his hair looks really soft. Two! Han wears like two outfits the whole series, and when Jones isn’t wearing his adventure outfit, he cleans up nicely. Three! Han has the shittiest attitude known to man, Indy is a gentleman. Four!”

Owen had started zoning out about then, but he still stared at Curt, who he thought of as exceptionally cute (even when he was ranting about the hotness of fictional men). He was drowning in the beige jumper that he had on, and Owen couldn't get enough of it. 

"So, do I have you convinced, Scully?" 

"Absolutely not, love. Everything you just said was cute, sure, but it didn't sway me one bit." 

"I swear to- ugh. This is pointless. I'm trying to impart wisdom on you and you're thinking about season 6 of Friends or some shit. I'm asking Tatiana."

Owen chuckled. When Curt got his other friends involved in one of his pointless arguments, you knew he meant business. Curt quickly put the speaker on so both men could hear her.

"Tati! How are you doing? Quick question-- who would you rather go down on: Han Solo or Indiana Jones?"

There was an audible sigh on the other line.

"I am…. I am a lesbian, Curtis"

"Yeah, yeah we know all that jazz. You still have to pick. 'Which Harrison Ford Characters Would You Have Sex With' is the final question before the judgment day. Do it, Tati. Unless you're chicken, of course." 

At this point, Curt was clearly turning into a bully from a 2000's teen flick, so Owen had to intervene. 

"Curt and I were having a little conversation about the fuckability of these particular Harrison Ford characters. Any input?"

"Yeah. That you are both wrong. It is his character from The Fugitive."

Now it was Owen's turn to be annoyed.

"Oh sod off! Now you're just playing with us."

"What? I think he is the most attractive, that is all." 

Curt giggled at the exchange and Owen's heart did some gymnastics he would never (to spare his dignity) share with anyone. Ever. 

"We're hanging up on you, Red. That physically pained me to hear, just for your information." 

Curt laughed and hung up.

"So… that didn't help one bit. Maybe we shouldn't have used the 'Phone a Friend’ lifeline so soon."

Owen sighed. 

"Let's forget about this whole thing, and agree on something. 

_ American Graffiti _ Harrison could Get It."

" _ Yes" _

**Author's Note:**

> This popped up in my brain and it's the stupidest thing I've ever written. I'm sorry.


End file.
